Month in Numbers (Feb 15)

I am at a loss as he opens the top two drawers in turn, peering in briefly and then closing each. I am not sure what he's looking for, though it seems to be connected in some way to something he was remembering aloud with me before it grew thin and trickled away. He opens the third a few inches - just far enough for me to glimpse the piles of photos lifted from albums long ago, slipping out of elastic bands into shifting and faded layers like the memories he is trying so hard to find. I know that some have a name or a date on the back, but - with his aversion to recording personal or family history - most do not and never will. "Might something in here be of help?" I venture. He tilts his hands back, knuckles close to his shoulders, then slams the drawer firmly shut. He stands motionless for a few seconds, then sets off with his walking frame away from me, one hand raised: do not follow me.

I acquiesce. But my heart goes with him ... In a little while, I will bring tea, and he will smile, and we will sit together and all will be well. In the meantime, I slide onto a chair at the kitchen table and look at the not-quite finished gathering up of the scraps of my own life for last month. I am learning how hard it will be to have a sense of the shape of my years, if there is not a place where the bits and pieces, the flotsam and jetsam, can be safely held for the days when internal memory fails. The sudden thought of a scrap album or a photo book as my memory's external hard drive makes me smile - Himself would understand that concept! I make a mental note to tell him when he returns from his turn to be with the Littlies. Slipping the last few photos in, I add a final paragraph and a date, and press Save. Julie, I am grateful to you for your wonderful Month In Numbers! Here's the February 2015 edition from up here ...

 And now, I think, it's time I was putting that kettle on :).

 

Comments

[Cheri]

Love the analogy of our albums as our memory's external hard drive! I already know that I can't remember a lot of the stuff I was SURE I would. So not ready to forget even more...

[Helen]

Beautiful writing, as always, Alexa....love reading your posts, always. They always give me a deep sense that all is somehow right with the world. Thank you.

[Missus Wookie]

Whenever I don't want to journal I remind myself that I will be grateful later. Hope the kettle, tea and companionship were warm. What a clever grandson number one, hope himself has more luck getting a photo! Well done to Mark and hope grandson number two has recovered.

[Alexa]

I am rather afraid Himself might not, as he went off without the camera! Still, he might be able to do something sneaky with his phone. Thank-you for your lovely comment :).

[Karen Walker]

The balance of fine photos and heartwarming journaling makes this one of my favorite layouts ever! I'm glad to know I'm not the only grandmother from whom children run when they see a camera.

[Ruth]

Ooh, Chester! One of my favourite places in the world (we even had our wedding reception there and I spent many a happy hour as a child on those walls.) Scrapbooks as external hard drive? Great analogy!

[Esther A]

I am left hanging - hoping that your father did find what he was after, and in agony over all of those unnamed photos! My sister-in-law and I have relieved her parents of all of their photos - some retrieved from the woodbox where they were to be used as fire lighters. "They're all dead" was their response when we expressed dismay at the lost photos. They are now sorted into pocket albums and we are gradually going through and finding out the names and the stories from my parents-in-law. Funny how the photos mean so little to them but they actually love reminiscing and telling us stories about them!

[Louise]

ahh we visited Chester a couple of years ago..it was so lovely. Had to smile at no1 grandson ... i'm sure he'll get used to the camera eventually :) x

[Deb @ PaperTurtle]

Ahhhh ~ a little "Simply a Moment" mixed with a month in numbers and your eye-pleasing layout. I thoroughly enjoyed this post, Alexa. Keep the faith, my dear! xo

[Paul]

Beautiful page Alexa with such exquisite journaling as always. The 3x3 grid layout is superb when put in your very clever hands :) Px

[Miriam]

Sending you a warm hug Alexa. Making scrapbooks was a lovely initiative introduced when I was working. But how hard it was to understand when you think you will never forget. xx

[Helena]

Love the transformed wreath (so clever) and the lino cut piece and the thwarted portraits - I can see them making an appearance in a graduation album! and warm hugs for daily life with a loved one whose memory is patchy

[Fiona@staring at the sea]

For a second I thought I had stumbled across a "Simply a Moment" post, filled to the brim with your beautifully evocative writing.

[Sian]

It's a beautiful page.

Funny, my Mum always had an aversion to recording things too..until recently when I feel as if she is trying to tell me family stories while she still has time

[Beverly]

Oh, my heart ached for your dad thank you for sharing that when you brought tea he would be at peace again. Isn't it wonderful to see your son as such an amazing parent, someone must have modeled extremely well for him.

[Melissa Gross]

Oh Alexa, you so perfectly captured your month in words & numbers. And I truly appreciate the lovely way you record the difficult moments and aspire to be as gracious when the time arrives that my own parents will need that kind of patience! You truly provide INSPIRATION for finding the best in the little moments!

[Prairie Jill]

Beautifully written post, as always, Alexa. I wish I had your gift for words!

Thank you for your visit to my blog. And yes, we still have snow! Actually, it's nearly all gone now, which is nice. Well, except for the mud and slush and puddles! The snow usually hangs around until April, so this is a nice early start to spring. (Fingers crossed that we won't have any more snow!)

[Nathalie]

Always a pleasure to read your posts and numbers :) I love the bit about trying to get a photo of your grandson... I still deal with that with my teenage boys!!!

[Michele]

I love reading your month in numbers. Sarah's lino print is fabulous!

[Susanne]

I wish I could describe your writing style, but suffice it to say, it is delightful to read. You always leave us with a sense of your world, almost as though we were eavesdropping. Bless you for sharing with us.

[Honoré]

Ohhh! How I love the way you recorded the month in numbers! So poignant and in- depth and novel & rich in detail ; I savored every word.
Brilliant Alexa! Truly!

Cheers ~

[Mary]

that spread tells a wonderful story - love the mix of photos and words (and numbers :-) ...and the journaling at the top of this post tells another beautiful story. being present. making notes. telling stories. xo. - Mary (p.s. did you give your blog a makeover or have I just not visited the site in a while? it looks fresh and clean - ready for Spring!)

[Kjjc]

What a fabulous collection of photographs with beautiful writing as always.

[Becky]

I too thought I had stumbled across Simply a Moment. A very poignant piece of writing. Love the way you have recorded your month too.

[SueTR]

I'm my default family memory keeper and I love your analogy of albums as ehd. Beautiful writing on a heart wrenching moment. Your month record is lovely too, fab clean style!

[Gail]

What a wonderful post and like others I thought I was reading a Simply a Moment post to start. I love how you've done your month in numbers. I must get back to that.